Bora Zivkovic, Ruined By A Baseless Victim Feminist Attack: Catherine, His Wife, Finally Speaks -- Explains The Devastating Effects On Their Family
I blogged yesterday about victim feminist power grabs: using a combo of identity politics and what I call eggshell feminism -- the new demand for women to be treated as eggshells, not equals -- in order to have unearned power over men and even to destroy them. (There are women, too, whom they go after, but the victims are mostly men.)
Here's a bit from my blog item:
Victim Feminism: A New Form Of Extortion
A trend seems to have arisen: Women (mostly) are using accusations against men (and sometimes women in power) as a way of having unearned power.
These accusations typically don't meet any sort of standard for the "crime" committed and they tend to not seem the slightest bit reasonable to anyone not hypnotized by identity politics. Yet, they often seem to have surprising traction.
Take the case of former SciAm blogs editor Bora Zivkovic -- accused of sexual harassment and pilloried for it on social media and elsewhere, until he was out of a job and pretty much ruined. The only problem? What he did never met any legal standard for sexual harassment -- or even any reasonable standards.
But women said he did it and their accusations stood. And then a herd of supposed skeptics -- self-proclaimed skeptics known as science writers -- simply nodded their heads on Twitter in unison and decided to schedule an Internet-wide witch-burning. (Never mind that nobody ever got Bora's side of the story.)
What kind of woman takes advantage of the power of the "J'accuse!"? Not a woman of power and position. Not a woman who is going places. A woman who has failed to make much of herself or her life. A woman who doesn't have the grades or the chops or who hasn't done the work.
She sees an opening, though, an opening in our careless passage of laws, for example, like Title IX, which was supposed to be about giving girls soccer time in high school but is now used, for example, to remove due process rights of men accused of sexual crimes on campus.
It's truly sick.
I've gotten to know Bora since this happened, because I was one of a (literal) handful of people standing up for him, for due process for him, and for somebody to ask for his side of the story. (I've been trying to get someone to do a reported piece on this -- it's not what I do -- and was looking to NY Times media reporter David Carr, a former colleague from the alt weeklies, and then Carr died.)
As I noted above, what Bora did in no way met any legal or reasonable standard for sexual harassment -- a crew of harpies who accused him just said it did; and all these supposed "skeptics" who make up the science-writing community just piled on.
Getting to know Bora -- a tiny, Asperger'sy guy with a big heart and a deep love of science, who just wanted to include everyone -- I can see that he has the antithesis of a predator personality. The more I get to know him, the more I see that this is a horrible injustice that must not be left to stand. I want others to understand this.
Well, his wife, Catherine, could remain silent about this no longer and, yesterday, left a long comment on my above blog item. Here it is:
The injustice of what was done to Bora is almost too painful to bear. Both I and Bora have been dangerously close to suicide (at different times) since this disaster happened. The torture of the irony here is that Bora is 100% innocent. Not only was NO action meeting the legal definition of sexual harassment committed, but there was also not a trace of inappropriate comments or behavior ever to escape Bora's person. Ever. EVER. And the people who know him, the thousands he has unselfishly and freely given his time to, know this. If we had the resources, we could PROVE his innocence. If we ever have the chance to sue any and every body involved in this crime, we will nail you for every last penny you have. One has to do only a surface investigation into the sordid life of Monica Byrne to see that her depravity reaches far and wide. We know three different men in the Triangle, who are not only strangers to the science community, but also strangers to each other, and all have said that Monica is a known pathological liar, none were surprised by her actions, and one even suggested that the reason she falsely accused Bora is that she failed to get him to sleep with her. If she can't bend a man to her will, she will set out to destroy him, just as she spent her time in NYC riding subways "hunting" for flashers, as she relates in the story she told at The Monti. Just as she has been crying like a little bitch because she didn't get her way with Wired. Read the reviews of her novel on Amazon and you will see that she is one sick bitch. Look at her 100+ 'sexy' dress poses' selfies and you will clearly see that she uses her sexuality to manipulate and control men. It is really rather disgusting.And how about Kathleen Raven? Talk about a pussy. She is a major pussy. Bora actually considered her his best friend and trusted her implicitly. The (one sided) snippets from the emails she posted really succeeded in making Bora look like some kind of pervert. But the fact is that he was having a private conversation with her about his adolescent sexuality, and what it is like for young people growing up in a culture that affords them no real privacy for sexual exploration. Young people in Belgrade (at least at that time) didn't have their own apartments or live together before marriage. You basically either had your spouse move in with you and your parents, or you moved in with your in-laws, after marriage, of course. Ironically, in his culture sex is considered normal and natural and nobody faints if you say the word "erection." Kathleen Raven is a sneaky little bitch. More than once, she coyly asked Bora "are you attracted to me?" I have seen the Twitter DMs. I have read her emails and texts. Her hands are not clean. Although they came close to actually having an affair, it never got physical. And the reason is that Bora refused because they were both married. I do think they had what I would call an emotional affair. They were in constant contact, they both lit up like Christmas trees when they met at conferences, Bora once even credited Kathleen with "saving our marriage," because he had someone to talk to who understood.
Understood? Since Kathleen didn't hesitate to throw me under the bus, I will tell you the story of her ex/abusive boyfriend: apparently this fellow had some unsavory rape fantasies that he persuaded Kathleen to allow him to "act out" with her. Although she gave her consent, she said she was extremely traumatized by this sex play. That isn't surprising. It sounds horrible. But this is classic Kathleen Raven logic. Say yes, decide it was a bad idea, cry wolf. It is worth noting here that Kathleen was under a HUGE amount of pressure from Maryn McKenna and Emily Willingham (everybody's favorite!) and a few other women to make these public accusations about Bora. She totally dissed Bora's friendship and loyalty and folded to the party politics. In my book, that makes her a great, big PUSSY. And tell me, if you will, that if she was so intimated by Bora, why did he have an invitation to come and visit her in her home? The visit was planned for the week after Bora was "outed." How quickly things change! Finally, if you have watched the video of the Double X session (which, ironically, Bora organized) you can clearly see that after Kathleen publically accuses Bora, a little smile/smirk breaks out on her face. If you know anything about microexpressions, you know that this is a classic "tell" for lying. I know what I say is true because I was here. And I was there. I watched the whole thing unfold. I even warned Bora: bad idea, keep your distance, you can't trust her. But everybody who knows Bora knows that he is totally gullible, always gives the benefit of the doubt,and trusts everyone. At least he used to.
What people don't know is that a lawyer forced Bora to publish that "apology" and would not allow him to use his own words or defend himself. So his fate was sealed, his guilt certain. A handful of brave women came to his defense. Interestingly, this did not include the women that knew him best, like Bethany Brookshire (we danced at her wedding! She started her blog on his laptop! She KNOWS better) and Janet Stemmwedel (she had been aching to be on the Science Online board for a couple of years, Bora and Anton were actually planning to add her as the organization grew, but she took this opportunity to turn against Bora and try to stage a SciOn coup). Sorry, Janet, when two people have an idea, do the work (LOTS of fucking free work), and make a great baby, you can't just TAKE that baby and claim it is your own. All of you should be very, very ashamed for ruining one of the best conferences in the country.
Almost NO men stood up for Bora because they knew they would be committing career suicide. There was one notable exception: Anton. Anton was Bora's closest friend and partner. During the early weeks, we probably would have died without his loyal support. However, when he wrote an incredibly thoughtful, fair, and profound piece about the issue (in all of it's complexity) and published it around New Year's Day, he was attacked so visciously, with so much mocking and hatred, that even he questioned the innocence of Bora, and proceeded to put a fairly substantial amount of distance between himself and Bora. This was a real low point for us. We lost so many friends for whom we cared deeply. It was disturbing to see all those "journalists" sincerely believing that they knew the Truth without asking Bora ONE SINGLE QUESTION.
The funny (but not too funny) thing is that Bora is one of the rare true male feminists. He achieved gender equity with everything that had his name on it (his blog network, Science Online, his annual best of science blogs anthology....and he refused dozens of invitations to participate on panels all over the world because the panels did not include one single woman speaker.
Bora was born to teach. Partly out of love, and partly as community service, he has been teaching freshman biology at a local college for twenty years, including during the time he worked at Scientific American. This is a situation in which there is a REAL power differential. However, in all of those years, he has not had one single complaint (not even from the creationists in his classes, many of whom he converted to accept evolution based on the evidence he taught). Not one complaint. In fact, he consistently has the best evaluations on campus.
I know Bora better than any of you ever will. I know that he lacks the machismo and even the self-confidence to bully or harass any person in any way. Do you seriously feel that he is a threat? He weighs 125 lbs! About 50 lbs less than the average woman at a conference. ANYBODY could take him down, if necessary. But it would never be necessary because that is just not who Bora is.
Bora LOVED his job. He worked 18 hour days most of the time, and ALWAYS seven days a week (unless he was on his beloved Amtrak train.) Bora cared deeply for almost everyone. And he has always been unfailingly polite to the few people he can't stand. I admit that he is the goofy guy who stands there talking to you for ten minutes without realizing his elbow is in your potato salad. But what can I say? He's on the spectrum. So many people owe their careers or book deals to him. I can't count that high.
But where oh where is the loyalty to Bora? Not even Bora so much as the pursuit of, and loyalty to the truth? His boss at the college heard the rumors and read the slander, but she is wise in the ways of the world and knows that the person being described as a "serial sexual harasser" was not, is not, and will never be Bora. Is it possible that the rest of you are so utterly and completely gullible and stupid that you can not see that there is no way Bora would have behaved in such a crude manner? Yes. I actually do believe that most of you are THAT stupid.
All of you that have been complicit in this crime are guilty of ruining our life. You have succeeded in rendering Bora unemployable. You have humiliated our children, and pushed us both to the very edge of suicide and divorce. You have taken four people out of the middle class and sentenced us to a life of poverty. Because of you, there are children going to bed hungry (our daughter is down to 83 lbs and she's anemic. She is not anorexic. She is hungry. She is afraid to eat because she's afraid there will be nothing left. YOU DID THIS TO HER. TO US. And for what?
To all of you who were complicit in this lie, beware! Evil begets evil.
Somebody out there needs to find Moses (or Jesus) and recognize this grave injustice. Somebody needs to refuse to participate in this witch hunt and offer Bora a decent job with full benefits. Monica Byrne and Kathleen Raven need to grow up, admit their lies, and publicly apologize. Bora deserves the restoration of his life, his work, and his good name.
Posted by: Ccziv at July 2, 2015 11:31 AM
What's beyond crazy and what's sick is that we've gotten to the point where accusations of sexual harassment are simply believed out of hand. There has been a push from within feminism to never question an (alleged) victim.
Well, the truth is, false accusations are made, and part of a fair investigation is questioning whether there's validity to an accusation and not simply looking on the calendar to schedule the witch burning for the accused.
This needs to change, and it will only change when people lay themselves on the line to speak out for those who have been denied due process (legally, socially, and on social media). There were (literally) a handful of people, including me, who spoke up for Bora. I did get emails from academics who were very much on his side -- privately -- but said they could not afford to speak out publicly.
Well, it's the fact that few speak out that makes it dangerous for those who do. And despite the danger -- and I know it has hurt me, careerwise, to speak out -- sometimes you just have to do it because somebody has been unfairly victimized and speaking out is the right thing to do.
There is only one solution: investigate the allegations, and if proven false, then to shame and ridicule the accuser.
Make it so they think twice before attempting to grab a scalp.
I R A Darth Aggie at July 3, 2015 8:40 AM
As InstaPundit puts it punch back twice as hard.
I R A Darth Aggie at July 3, 2015 8:42 AM
I agree with most of this but:
> What people don't know is that a lawyer forced
> Bora to publish that "apology" and would not
> allow him to use his own words or defend
> himself. So his fate was sealed, his guilt
> certain
A lawyer can't force anyone to do anything. A court can force someone to do something, the government can force someone to do something, but a lawyer simply doesn't have that power.
Snoopy at July 3, 2015 9:32 AM
@snoopy
A lawyer's client doesn't always know that.
Bob at July 3, 2015 9:56 AM
Yes, it is so important that people who see and decry injustice, speak up, before it is too late, and more legislation is passed to codify the legitimacy of these witch hunts. And those who do stand up are worthy of appreciation and honor for having that courage.
We look back at history, and it is easy to say, "How did the McCarthy and HUAC Communist witch hunts, how did the Hollywood blacklist happen? How could people have allowed this kind of madness to occur?" Because a group of zealous fanatics intimidated everyone else into keeping silent out of fear that they would be destroyed, too. It's very easy to look back and say, "I would have done something; I would have spoken out and decried what was going on," and much more difficult to actually do it when it is happening. And then of course it just gets worse. Maybe the McCarthy era ended when Joseph Welch stood up to him in the Army hearings and said, "Have you no sense of decency, sir?" Heaven knows that hardly anyone else stood up to McCarthy from 1950-1954, when he was ruining the lives of thousands of people, and terrifying millions into silent aquiescence.
This particular iteration of witch hunting is tricky, because it is mostly women doing it, as against men. So it is very crucial that brave women such as Ms. Alkon are there to stand up against the concept of the "sisterhood" which deems that no woman ever lies, and that any man accused is probably guilty.
william at July 3, 2015 9:57 AM
Amy Alkon
http://www.advicegoddess.com/archives/2015/07/03/bora_zivkovic_r.html#comment-6091633">comment from SnoopyA lawyer "pressured," then. Unless you've experienced what Bora has or has someone close to you experience it, you maybe can't come close to understanding how this sort of thing feels and how you want to believe the person who's giving you advice. Somebody must know the way out.
I've gotten to know Bora a bit since this was done to him. I only knew his name and only in passing before this.
I have to say, he is a very smart guy -- science smart -- but socially and social-strategically, he is a little lost.
When the world comes down on you -- a world you largely created, in terms of science blogging -- there has to be a tremendous feeling of disbelief and a rush to alleviate the sudden vast pain and Twittermobshaming that's been visited on you. People LOVED Bora. There was this "hug Bora" campaign where everybody -- men and women -- hugged him. Bora (and I think it's okay to tell you this) did this because he was so Aspergers'y and wanted to be warmer to people. So, as I force myself to talk with people even when I'm afraid, he decided to become a hugger.
One of the things that makes me the angriest is one of his accusers whose notion of sexual harassment was that he hugged her a second too long. Who hasn't had that happen? There's an old lady at the coffee shop who always hangs on a second too long in her hugs. I'm a little "okay, are we done here?" but it's because she's a little, I dunno bodily or socially clueless, not because she's looking to grab my ass for a second act.
Amy Alkon at July 3, 2015 12:04 PM
Oh I know all too well: you want it over and done with. I get that.
Especially when you're paying someone for their expertise. You depend on their good judgment. It's hard, and I don't fault Bora for that. But that doesn't mean your lawyer is always right.
I recall that preachers approached Lincoln to fire Grant because he drank. "I can't spare him, he fights." Sometimes you want that junk yard lawyer: s/he fights for you.
I R A Darth Aggie at July 3, 2015 12:34 PM
Not entirely true. For the discovery phase of a trial, a subpoena has the effect of a court order. (Although it does require the backing of a judge.)
Patrick at July 3, 2015 12:56 PM
His wife is so upset with the people for not defending him but how can a man testify about how someone else treats women when he is not around.
Bill Cosby did not rape me (I haven't even met him) but I could have been alone with him In his bedroom and it doesn't mean that other's accusations are false.
Conversely, I was mistreated by a doctor. He treated other people that I know well. That doesn't discount my experience.
I do think that this man got somewhat of a bum rap, however people cannot testify how he treated her when not in their presence.
Jen at July 3, 2015 1:00 PM
Is known if severance pay was made by Scientific American? Was statement required by lawyers?
ipli faction at July 3, 2015 1:10 PM
Due process violation has been going on since forever to lower-status and mid-status men. But high-status men never cared for them. Whether its the macho Arnold Schwarzeneger-type guy, or the high-status Jian Ghomeshi / Obama / Richard Dawkins type.. all they care for is the plight of the poor wimminz.
Fuck you male-feminists.
Astrokid NJ at July 3, 2015 2:49 PM
Tom Watson Jr, the longtime CEO of IBM, described in his memoirs a pair of incidents during the McCarthy era. A set of vertical blinds was involved.
Watson had the blinds, which were not then as common as they are now, in his office. An engineer attending a meeting made a sketch of them, and left it in his shirt pocket when he sent the suit to the dry cleaner. The cleaning man thought the drawing looked suspicious, and sent it to the Un-American Activities Committee. One of McCarthy's investigators confronted Watson, saying he was sure that the item was really an antenna used for espionage.
The CEO of IBM demonstrated the vertical blinds, and the investigator went away, but given the hysteria of the times, Watson was worried about IBM losing its security clearance over this ridiculous affair.
A little later, Watson was a speaker at a meeting of high-level businessmen. He remarked that things were getting out of hand with accusations of Un-Americanism, and that leading businesspeople should be speaking out against the crazy.
Nobody said anything. But a couple of days later, Watson got notes from several people who were in attendance, saying they agreed with him but didn't feel they could say so in public.
We have now, I think, reached an even higher level of insanity and fear.
David Foster at July 3, 2015 3:21 PM
"Bora has unjustly been made a sacrificial lamb"
https://nikitab.wordpress.com/2013/10/28/the-bora-controversy-and-american-values/
Amy Alkon at July 3, 2015 4:32 PM
@snoopy There is one very important fact that I failed to mention but should have: The lawyer misrepresented herself to Bora as *his* lawyer, as if SciAm was going to support and protect him. Instead, she was actually slipping the noose around his neck. If we pursue any legal action, we have a strong case against her. He did what she told him to do because he trusted her. A huge mistake, once again counting on somebody's honesty where was none. He worked his tuchas off for that company. He made the mistake of believing that SciAm would have his back. Sadly, he was very, very wrong about that. Again.
Ccziv at July 3, 2015 6:29 PM
Since the beginning of time women have done this to men.
Rowan at July 3, 2015 10:29 PM
Catharine, not all women do this, not if they're psychologically healthy, and not all men have tolerated it. Most don't, face to face. But on the internet, especially twitter and blogs, people say shit they'd never dare say to you, or their friends/family, in person. It's existentially terrifying when a sanctimonious wasp-swarm attacks on twitter, like a venomous flashmob. So people simply STFU, for fear of being shunned. This needs to stop; it's culturally toxic. You go, tiger!
Richard Jowsey at July 4, 2015 2:09 AM
I've looked up pictures of Bora (if you Google his name, you'll find plenty of them). Obviously, we can't judge a person's predatory penchants on looks alone. But he's about the most non-threatening man I've ever looked at. He has a certain ultra-nerdy charm about him, but seriously, you could knock him over by sneezing.
I don't see how a five-year-old could find him threatening, much less an adult woman.
Patrick at July 4, 2015 4:48 AM
What overblown nonsense:
http://freethoughtblogs.com/pharyngula/2015/07/04/save-the-retconning-for-comic-books/
Austin at July 4, 2015 12:44 PM
1992 False Allegation of Sexual Harassment: Feminists say its rare, OK coz historical oppression
Astrokid NJ at July 4, 2015 12:47 PM
"Because of you, there are children going to bed hungry (our daughter is down to 83 lbs and she's anemic. She is not anorexic. She is hungry. She is afraid to eat because she's afraid there will be nothing left."
Has anyone started some sort of fundraiser for this family? I would be delighted to contribute as I both think it a serious matter when a child loses weight and becomes anemic secondary to reduced dietary intake, and I don't see the point in punishing a guy on the spectrum for behaving like a guy on the spectrum.
Lancelot Gobbo at July 4, 2015 1:12 PM
I don't really have any opinion on the sexual harassment other than that these people all sound pretty peculiar.
I do have an opinion on Bora Z, however.
My friend wrote an article which was eviscerated by one of these dingbat bloggers Bora had hired who understood neither the science nor the regulations she was writing about, right down to completely bungling the molecular pathways she was describing. This was pointed out at length in the comments, with references, but yet Bora still supported the dingbat (also in the comments) and the article was never retracted.
My friend is a journalist and this girl's article was the first hit on Google for his name for months which did significant damage to his reputation.
This dingbat had also criticized me. I had naively written a blog that called for perspective during a previous feminist attack on a science, which she did not feel toed the party line in feminism closely enough. I'm just a scientist and not a big loudmouth on the internet so for a long time her blog was the first hit you got when you googled me. After mysteriously not getting a few second interviews, I realized that HR departments did.
So we took the sort of career hit Bora's wife is describing but we took it at the hands of one of Bora's flunkies. He did not stand up for us.
So, tough luck. Don't create monsters if you don't want to get eaten.
Gina at July 7, 2015 10:49 AM
Gina, sorry to hear about your troubles. Yet another demonstration of how postmodern feminism hurts women.
Cousin Dave at July 7, 2015 12:14 PM
Is it harassment or not? In the end it doesn't matter because it is a men hunt. We have reversed the witch hunt. Now is the time of hunting men for being men. Some go over the line, some not. But who is speaking up for the male victims? Nobody but men rights activists and specialized workers. And male victims are just as numerous as female ones, if not moreso because of their socially invisible status.
So this is not about protecting women, or accusing wrongdoers. This is about killing Man and deifying Woman. It doesnt matter if Bora did cross the line (and reading from the link given above, I tend to believe he did). What matters is Bora has a pair and that is Evil and must be taken down. The Male power must be taken down for the new world order of eternal slavery to flourish.
So in the end, saving the males means saving the male abusers means saving ourselves. Ironic isnt it?
I mean by that that you wont have a "safe" society. You will have some tolerance for some abuse, and some intolerance for other sorts of abuse. You will have priorities.
If we prioritize female power then we will have tolerance for female-on-male abuse, and vice versa. Saving the males means saving ourselves (because they are the warriors anr risk-takers and self-sacrificers) and it means accepting some overpowering of females by males.
The alternative is just much worse on all levels, as we're starting to see nowadays. In the name of safety of females we are squandering everything up to our very species.
You NEED the male warrior, everyone. You are letting parasites enslave and alienate your people and even species in ways so dire you cant imagine it.
quintal at July 8, 2015 3:57 AM
For a long time the extreme Left within feminism have tried to make a woman's subjective sense of being victimized dominant over any objective standard of behavior by those she's accusing. Generally, the Left hates objective standards because it limits their power, and power is what the left is all about; that's why so many victories for the Left have been achieved in courts with judges willing to re-arrange standards post-facto.
Q: What is sexual harassment?
A: Anything the woman perceives to be harassment.
Women have also been encouraged to see EVERYTHING in their lives in terms of politics. ("The Personal is Political") which means inevitably to see all relationships as struggles for power. And power is the ultimate zero-sum resource: you only get more by taking from others.
Add to that the trend among certain women to regard victim status as ennobling and empowering, throw in the desire most women seem to have to caucus over things and compound with the brevity of social media (140 characters is perfect for slander or slogans, hard for reasoned rebuttal) and the tragedy above unfolds.
And of course, once she started down that path of accusation, she would have lost status if she'd moderated her position in any way.
The Ikonoklast at May 15, 2016 10:41 AM
The funny (but not too funny) thing is that Bora is one of the rare true male feminists
Lie down with dogs . . .
Oleaginous Outrager at May 15, 2016 2:41 PM
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